How do I get back into the dating game?

I’m a 40 year old school teacher who’s looking to date again after breaking up from a long-term relationship that lasted 5 years. I have to admit that I’m scared and unsure about how to launch back into the dating game. I’m prepared to keep an open mind and try any options, but I’m not sure what’s expected from guys, and how I get them interested. My last relationship was a messy break-up, and my partner ended up cheating on me and breaking my heart. It took me a year to get over it all, but I think I’m ready now to meet someone special. What do I need to do to prepare myself to get back into the dating game?

Firstly, I’m really proud of you for deciding to date again – it takes courage and you deserve to happy. Now there are specific steps you need to take to get you ready for the dating game. I want you to give yourself a full make-over so that you feel amazing about how you’re looking right now (hair, wardrobe, nails etc.). Then start to prioritise your health and fitness – this will make you feel alive and gives you great momentum (exercise, diet, limit alcohol use etc.). You then need to take some time to make sure you’ve put the past behind you. Sit down with a friend and look at the reasons for your previous relationship break-up and get full closure – what wasn’t right about him, what were the warning signs, what do you want different from your next partner, what makes you so good at relationships? After this, get clear about the specific traits of your ideal partner and write these down and refer to them regularly so you know where you’re headed. Now focus on developing a positive mindset for the dating game. Remember this rule – dating is a process of elimination not rejection. It’s a numbers game and you’re simply eliminating the bad to get to the good. It’s not personal. Finally, keep the sex out of it, and make them wait. Get to know them first and see if they’re really keen for a serious relationship before getting intimate with them. It shows them you respect yourself and you know what you want.

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