How do I stop going after the wrong types?

I’ve got a terrible history of dating guys that are bad for me. They either seem to be married or attached, ‘players’ that don’t want to commit, or they’re too young for me and just want to party. When I meet these guys they tell me all the right things and I end up falling for them and having sex. Unfortunately, I then get into the situation whereby I want commitment from them and they tend to play games with me, keep me waiting and become hard to contact. My friends tell me I should keep clear of them, but I think that I’m special enough to change them. After a while, they do end up breaking my heart and I’m left trying to pick up the pieces. How do I stop doing this?

Well, you’ve already started the process by identifying that the problem exists and acknowledging that something has to change. It’s not an easy pattern to break. These bad boys can be good looking, assertive and confident, be the life of a party and have status and power. But let me make this quite clear – they’re looking for someone vulnerable who they can use and then discard. They’re after a casual hook-up not a long-term relationship, and they’re not changing. If you want to avoid these types then you have to get educated. Look at the bad boys you’ve been out with before and come up with your top 5 warning signs to avoid. Then Identify what you do that lets them into your life and change your habits and patterns. For instance drinking too much, going to certain clubs, hanging around toxic friends, doing drugs or having one night stands. Also, start thinking about the top five traits of your ideal partner and what you’re going to do differently to attract that person into your life. Then involve a friend in this and make a pact to stay on track and change the way you live your life as a single person.

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