How do we stay in love?

We’ve just come back from our honeymoon and we’re about to begin our married life together. We’ve been together for the last 5 years, and it’s so exciting to think about having a family and creating our own future. We’re both deeply in love and we consider each other to be great friends as well as lovers. However, I’m also worried about making sure that this works out, after we were both raised in separated families. We don’t want to make the same mistakes our parents made. So I’m wondering if there are any key strategies that we should know about that will keep us in love and together?

Good question! I wish more couples were this proactive in investing in their relationship, instead of asking for help when it’s too late. Yes there are plenty of key strategies that you can use to keep your relationship strong and alive. When you’re communicating, let the other person finish, acknowledge their point even if you don’t’ agree with it, and remember to listen but don’t fix. Make a point of regularly complimenting each other on a daily basis, express your feelings, and deal with problems as a team rather than focusing on who’s to blame. Both initiate affection and sex on a regular basis, and make sure you know exactly what turn’s you both on/ off. Share roles at home – the cooking, chores, paying bills, running errands, and make the effort to mix with each other’s friends and family members. Have a date night at least once a week and alternate who organises it, and try to do things for the first time together so you don’t become too bored with routine. Put some time aside to establish shared couple goals relating to finances, living arrangements, careers, health and fitness, and family and friends. Finally, make sure you keep having clear and honest discussions about your relationship values and expectations – how many kids, childcare, religion, schooling, money, monogamy, parenting styles etc. The whole idea behind all of these techniques is that you work as a team and you always prioritise each other regardless of what’s happening around you.

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