It might seem like a great idea. Meet a hot stranger in a bar or club and take them home and have a night of amazing sex! It’s new, fresh, exciting – and it gives you a sense of being desired and attractive. You part ways the next morning and never have to see each other again. However there can be a number of downsides to this type of approach, which in the long run can hold you back from ever meeting someone special.
For starters, one nighters can put your health and safety at risk, particularly if you’re not being careful about protection or putting yourself in dangerous situations with strangers. It also has the tendency to make you feel used, alone and dirty, as you continually wake up the next morning on your own having no lasting connection with the person you just got totally naked with!
You can start to get yourself a reputation that sees others around you frown upon your actions and write off your character. And of course there’s also the problem of attracting only those that want sex but have no interest in commitment.
For many, they see it as just a phase and don’t take it too seriously. For others, it’s self-destructive and it holds them back from ever having a long-term commitment.
Here are 5 signs that one night stands may be ruining your love life:
1) You frequently put your health and safety at risk
Whenever you go out and look to have a one night stand, you tend to end up putting your own safety at risk. This will see you have unprotected sex, contract Std’s, be intimate with groups of strangers, go to places that are isolated and dangerous, and/or do this while under the heavy influence of alcohol or drugs.
2) You feel out of control
When you look at your casual sex behaviour, you get a sense that it’s not something that you can stop doing or that you can control. The excitement, the urge, the danger, the chase – you have no way of breaking the cycle once it starts. This will mean that you simply cannot go out on the town and say ‘no’ to the advances of someone who wants to sleep with you.
3) You hurt people around you
This can see you embarrass or let down your friends with your destructive sexual behaviour. Your one night stands can also break the hearts of those who you sleep with and then discard the next morning. Your family may be disillusioned by your casual approach to sex, and express fears over the way you’re handling yourself. And your work colleagues may no longer want to be involved with you due to you sleeping with people at work and having no boundaries.
4) You have no long-term relationships
You have a history of short flings and one night stands. There are no long-term relationships in your past – just a growing list of casual sex conquests that’s starting to get up into the 100’s. It has now got to the point where you don’t tell people numbers, and you worry alot about having to answer the question “how many people have you slept with?”
5) You feel bad about yourself after sex
Overall, your sexual behaviour makes you feel bad about yourself. After the night is over, you feel used, alone, dirty, out of control, bad and/or unloved. You look at the intimate relationships that others have and you wish you could have the same. You start to think that there’s something wrong with you, and that you may never get out of this destructive pattern.
For more advice and free relationship tips go to www.johnaikenadvice.com