There’s a tendency in all of us to want to be liked and to get on with people. Let’s face it – we’ve all been encouraged to do this from an early age. However for some guys, they have taken this way too far and become too nice and desperate to please. This is a disaster when it comes to dating!
Put simply – nice guys are a push over. They don’t challenge the women that they’re with and they end up being taken for granted and walked over. Putting someone on a pedestal and treating her like a princess may seem like a great idea at the time – but it becomes boring and they lose their respect for you! If you want a woman to be attracted to you – she needs to see you as an equal and someone who has a life outside of them. They want a lover not a needy boy.
So guys when you’re thinking about why you’re single – consider how you are in the dating game? Do you please too much, say yes all the time, roll over and make a date the center of your world? Do you become too available to them, change your plans to make them happy and do all the chasing? If this sounds familiar – then things need to change.
If you’re still not convinced that being too nice is a problem – here’s 7 good reasons to change your ways:
1) You’re indecisive
Being too nice means you always want to avoid letting dates down and being disliked. As a result, you can be guilty of procrastinating and struggling to make a decision for fear of upsetting them. This is annoying and frustrating and nothing ever gets done.
2) You’re too available
This sees you being too keen to change your plans at any time to meet the needs of your date. You want to make them the center of your world, and you’re prepared to run errands and go out of your way to keep them happy. This shows that you haven’t got a life outside of them.
3) You’re have no opinions of your own
Nice guys don’t want to rock the boat. They want to agree with their date and make sure they feel validated and supported. “Yes, I agree” is your phrase of choice, and it results in no arguments, but also no real discussion. It’s boring and shows you have no personality.
4) You’re smothering to be around
You want to be around you date as much as possible and treat them as a princess. You want to be joined at the hip and be there for them through their good days and bad. This sees you monopolise their time, pressure them to be together more and sulk when you get separated. It’s clingy and suffocating.
5) You chase too much
You’re guilty of always being the one to initiate contact and chase dates. This can see you ring, text and email too often, and push hard to catch up with them and their friends. It’s desperate and the relationship becomes a one way street.
6) You can’t say ‘no’
Being a nice guy means getting on and pleasing at all costs. If someone asks you to do something the answer is always the same……..”yes”. This will see you being pulled in all different directions and being used and taken advantage of. It shows you’re too easily influenced.
7) You have no respect
Nice guys are so keen to please, that you give all your power away to your date in the hope they’ll love you back. This makes you submissive and needy, and their respect for you quickly disappears. They want an equal in a relationship, not a child. It turns them off in every way and makes them feel like a mother not a lover.
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