It’s a common problem for many couples as they try to move their relationship to the next level. The guy in the relationship is still joined at the hip with his mother. Sure it might be cute and sweet when you first start dating. He’s close with his Mum. He likes to go around to her house for dinners, talk every day and spend every Xmas with her. But when your relationship starts to get more serious, this type of behaviour can become more annoying than adorable!
What you have to understand is that this will have been going on for many years. Your guy has grown up playing this role with Mum. He might be the eldest child who’s always been the responsible one, Mum might have needed his ongoing support due to illness, parental separation or financial strain, or she’s overbearing and has always looked to control his life. Whatever the case – it’s not new.
This means it’s likely to stay around in your relationship forever in some way, shape or form. With this being the case, you need to know what the signs are of a Mummy’s boy so that you can make a decision to either stay and learn to cope, or else get out and set your sights on a more independent guy.
10 Key signs you’re with a Mummy’s boy:
1) He speaks to her every day
Whether it’s by phone, email, text or face to face, he always has to have contact with his Mum ever day. The frequency may vary – but it always happens. And it takes importance over everything else. If the phone rings and it’s her, he’s answering it. If it’s a text – he’s immediately replying to it. If it’s a request for a coffee – he’s making room for it.
2) He spends the major holidays with her
There will be key holidays every year that he will spend with her. Xmas, New Year’s, Easter – whatever the special day – they’ll be together. They’ll also have certain traditions around these festive occasions that cannot be broken. They’re family rituals that come before anything else. 3) He asks her for advice
Whenever there’s a problem in his life he’ll turn to his mother for advice before anyone else. From daily issues to large-scale life stressors. He wants her wisdom and guidance and will listen to this ahead of other’s suggestions. Of course this also means that if you’re having problems in your relationship he’s likely to talk to his Mum about how to solve them!
4) He runs errands for her all the time
He’s happy to drop anything he’s doing at the time to go and run errands for his Mum. From picking her up a coffee, going to the supermarket with her, and transporting her around the city, to running her to the airport and taking her to work. He’s ready and available to fit in with her needs.
5) He can’t say ‘no’ to her
His favourite word to her is “yes”. He wants to please her and gain her approval at all costs. He’s craved it all his life and he’s ready to put her first to get some recognition. This means the word ‘no’ is out of the question and is something that he will try to avoid saying if possible as he can’t stand facing her disappointment.
6) He needs for reassurance
Whenever your guy is feeling insecure or anxious about something – he’ll turn to Mum to build him up. He wants her compliments, praise and words of support to get him through, and he will continually go to her when his confidence is low. Without this, he struggles to believe in himself and have the courage to take on life as a man.
7) He puts her ahead of his girlfriend/ wife
In terms of your relationship, Mum comes first. He’ll always consider how she might be impacted by your plans and will cancel if things don’t suit Mum. He will be very quick to defend his Mum over you and you’ll need to get on with her if you want a long-term relationship with her son. He’ll talk about her a lot to you, spend time with her exclusively, and you’ll have to fit in with her routines – no questions asked.
8) He lets her come over to his place unannounced
She’ll have free reign to come over to his place unannounced. There are no boundaries with her, so if she’s in the area and she has some free time she’ll be popping in. This may be a nice surprise on some occasions, but on others it can be embarrassing, inconvenient and annoying.
9) He relies on her for money
Although he’s an adult, he still may rely on her for financial support. He appreciates this but is also tied to it as he has certain obligations and pressures. He’s the reliable and responsible son who must do what is expected. The money gives him security, but it also binds him to keeping Mum as the most important person in his life.
10) He still lives at home
This is a huge tell tale sign that your guy’s a Mummy’s boy. He’s all grown up but he’s still living at home. Or else he’s got a place out the back of the house, or he’s living in the same street. This tells you that he hasn’t cut the strings and become independent, and still needs the emotional support of Mum to deal with life’s stressors.
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