It can be hard enough trying to find someone special in the dating game, but it can be
made even more difficult if you hold onto a negative mindset about being single. This
is something that you can control, and if you’re not careful, you can take yourself out of the
game before you’ve even started!
Meeting someone special is so much more than learning smooth chat-up lines and trying to stand up straight and tall and flutter your eyes. It’s heavily influenced by the way you think. And if you have a negative mindset, then it’s simply not going to happen.
There are 10 key signs that you have a negative mindset that holds you back from meeting someone special.
1) You complain all the time – If you’re guilty of constantly complaining about all the little things going on in your life, then you’re carrying around way too much negativity. This will show up in the dating game when you tell potential love interests about how hard your day was, who did you wrong, why things never work out for you and how unfair life is in general. Complaining is a turn-off – end of story.
2) You’re hung up on the past – By dwelling on the past, you’re setting up a barrier for someone new to come into your life. It might be about past relationship, a marriage break-down, being made redundant, or going bankrupt. It could be how your parents mistreated you, being bullied at school or losing a best friend. Whatever the case, focusing on the past and the pain it caused you makes you too complicated and broken to be around.
3) You think you’re bad at relationships – This is a huge obstacle in the dating game because you’re basically ruling out EVERYONE. Nobody wants to go out with someone who thinks this. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy that you’re making sure comes true. If you think that you’re bad at relationships – guess what. You will be! You’re taking yourself out of the game and killing off all your chances. Everyone has some strengths when it comes to relationships – start focusing on these.
4) You believe all the good ones are taken – Please! The world is a big place and there’s lots of people you haven’t met. By carrying around this mindset, you’re giving up hope and becoming helpless. You’re also not noticing all the single available people that are currently around you. Just because it hasn’t happened yet, – it doesn’t mean the opportunity has passed you by.
5) You think that being single means you’ve failed – This mindset is totally destructive. By looking at yourself in this way, you’ re putting way too much pressure on yourself to find someone fast! It creates desperation and despair, and makes you feel like a total loser. Newsflash: plenty of singles tell me that they found the one when they felt happy about being single and saw themselves in a positive light. Stop comparing yourself to others and start viewing being single in a positive way. Until you can do this, you better get used to being on your own.
6) You think people are intimidated by you – When you carry around this perspective, it puts you on edge and makes you stand offish. You think people see you as being too good for them – think again! There are plenty of successful and confident individuals that aren’t intimidated by you in the slightest. They’re just turned off by your superiority complex. Time to let go of this and start allowing people to get to know you. If they’re really keen, nothing will get in the way.
7) You focus on your weaknesses – It’s so easy in the dating game to become bogged down with your own flaws. It might be that you’re not tall enough, slim enough, interesting enough or earn enough money. Maybe you think you’re too old, too fat, have bad skin or wear glasses. Whatever the case, by focusing on your supposed ‘weaknesses’, you stop shining and you push people away with your negative vibe.
8) You’re cynical about the future – This is all about how you view the future and your chances of being happy. Instead of being hopeful and optimistic, you see yourself as being miserable, disappointed, full of regrets and of course – eternally SINGLE! You see the glass being half empty, and you struggle to accept that the world can be fair and that you’re destined for good things. This sort of negativity will be exhausting to be around.
9) You blame others for everything – This is a victim mindset that can creep in and take a hold of all your thinking. You focus on how you’ve been treated badly by others, how life has done you wrong, and how change isn’t going to happen for you. It’s disempowering and negative, and other people around you won’t want to listen to your bitterness or excuses. You’re an adult – take charge and be accountable for what’s happened and what you’re going to do about it!
10) You fear rejection – For some people, the dating game is a nightmare because it opens them up to rejection. This makes you feel anxious and insecure, and can ruin your chances of finding someone special. It’s time to look at dating as a numbers game. It’s about elimination, not rejection. If the shoe doesn’t fit, don’t keep wearing it – just put it back and go to the next store. Like any fear, when you face it you’ll take the power away and you’ll get stronger and stronger each time.
For more advice and free relationship tips go to www.johnaikenadvice.com