“Is your partner doing strange things that are out of character?”
“Do you find that you’ve started to snoop and check through your partner’s things?”

“Have you found it hard to get straight answers from them about their whereabouts?”

“Has your partner started to be secretive with their phone and emails?”

“Are you feeling insecure, shut out, and suspicious?”

“Do you worry all the time about them cheating on you?”

It’s a terrible position to find yourself in when you start to suspect that your partner’s cheating on you. At first you might laugh off the idea, but as time goes on and they start to display tell tale signs, your relaxed state turns to fear. It will usually occur after a build-up of signs and once you’re suspicious, your world tends to focus on one thing only – how to catch them out!

Anyone who’s been in this position will generally admit to becoming consumed by the possibility of their partner cheating. You can end up following their movements, checking their cell phone, and breaking into their computer to look at their emails. You’ll typically run through various possibilities in your mind, and try and piece together events and times that don’t add up. Phone bills and bank account records become vitally important, and you’ll often end up losing sleep and struggling to get through your normal daily routines.

If this sounds familiar, then look for the following signs and be aware that they need to have been around for at least 6 months on a consistent basis:

5 tell tale signs your partner is cheating:

1) Communication

If your partner is cheating then they’ll likely change the way they talk to you. They can become critical, prickly and abrupt, they may get defensive and stonewall you, and they can become evasive and vague when answering questions. It will be very difficult to get straight answers out of them and you may find that you catch them out with lies. They may also tend to avoid telling you how they feel, no longer praise or compliment you and stop discussing couple goals together.

2) Sex and affection

If your partner is cheating, you’ll often see a change in the way they show affection and have sex. They may shut down and stop touching you in private and in public (e.g. cuddles, hand holding, stroking your hair, putting their arm around you etc.) As well, they may lose interest in sex and stop going to bed with you at the same time. On the other hand, your partner may go in the other direction and get extremely amorous and want sex all the time, and pressure you to experiment with new and kinky techniques. They may want you to role play and wear new types of underwear, perfume and start watching pornography.

3) Secretive behaviour

If your partner is cheating then they’ll typically have to become secretive to keep this from you. This can see them taking their cell phone to the toilet with them, creating new passwords for their computer, and deleting all messages in their inbox. They may open new bank accounts that you don’t know about, purchase a second phone, create a new post office box or keep certain phone bills or bank statements from you. They may also be very evasive with any direct questions you put to them and be hard to contact throughout the day or in the week-ends.

4) Spend less time together

If your partner is cheating then expect them to avoid wanting to spend couple time with you. They may start working late at the office, going for long walks, going out with separate friends, and taking the car for drives. They may pursue new interests and hobbies, prioritise the TV over talking, and put DIY and cleaning the car ahead of date night. They may also begin to spend large amounts of their spare time on the computer – using facebook, msn, twitter and chatrooms.

5) Changes in character

If your partner is cheating then you’ll notice marked character changes. They can start becoming pre-occupied with their appearance, go to the gym, diet and try out new hairstyles, clothes and colognes. They may begin to engage in risky behaviours (e.g. riding motorcycles, sky diving, rock climbing, smoking etc.), drink more, experiment with drugs, start doing a lot more or a lot less household chores, and stop wearing their wedding ring. Or else they may try to kill you with kindness by giving you gifts, sending you flowers, and being especially thoughtful with the children. Whatever the case, these actions are a marked change from their normal self.

For more advice and free relationship tips go to www.johnaikenadvice.com