“Are you someone who fears being rejected?”
“Do you get worried about putting yourself out there in the dating game?”
“Does meeting someone new create fear and panic?”
“Are you guilty of making bad mistakes in the dating game?”
“Do you get down about the lack of good ones out there to date?”
The whole process of dating can be a very scary time as you try to make a good first impression on someone, without trying too hard to please. There can be plenty of games, mixed messages, heartbreak and confusion. For many, they just give up and put their dating on hold as they try to avoid more moments of embarrassment and pain.
Well, dating is a game that everyone needs to play to get the person they want. It can be a tricky process, but there are also some key tips to winning at this game. Follow these and you’ll find yourself having fun rather than dreading the outcome.
5 tips to winning at the dating game include the following:
1) Consider dating as a process of elimination
If you’re going to win at the dating game then you cannot take things personally. This means that you need to look at it as a process of elimination NOT rejection. Treat it like trying on clothes, if something doesn’t fit, put it back and go to the next store.
2) Create new dating rules
We can all be guilty of doing silly things that hold us back in the dating game. It may be that we ring too often, talk about the future too early on, have sex too soon, push to meet their family and friends. Whatever the problem behaviours – stop them. Create some new rules about how you’re going to act (e.g. no sex for 1 month, only text twice per day, no talk of feelings too early on etc.)
3) Have a positive outlook
How many times do single people put themselves down in front of potential partners and carry around a negative attitude. Enough! When you’re out on a date, or if anyone ever asks you about your love life and being single –get positive. Build yourself up with positive statements and tell people “I’m waiting for someone to inspire me!”
4) Know when to stay and when to go
Being in the dating game means that you constantly have to weigh up whether to stay or cut ties with your date. Do you give it more time or do you run? Well, have a look at the way you feel, how you act and what you think about this person. If it’s not all positive, and you don’t know where you stand – then get out of there.
5) Deal with the setbacks
We can all have bad dating experiences. These can bring on pain and heartache, and can knock you off your feet. It’s vital then that you can deal with the setbacks. When one occurs, get a friend to help you work through this. Whatever negative you attach to the experience – challenge it by asking yourself – “How can I look at this differently?”, “What’s another way of viewing this?” and “What advice would I give my best friend if they experienced this?”
For more advice and free relationship tips go to www.johnaiken.com.au