“Do you worry about the fact that your guy hasn’t called you back?”
“Do you find yourself waiting around all the time for him to call?”
“Are you getting frustrated with never being able to reach him when you need to?”
“Has your man recently become unreliable with getting in touch with you?”
“Do you second guess yourself about what to do when he doesn’t call?”
One of the keys aspects to dating is the communication that goes on between each person. You’ve only just started to get to know him, and much of your discussion can occur over the phone – flirting, finding out about each other, organizing future dates and meeting up with friends. In an ideal world, everything would be nice and clear and he would get back to you when he says he will. However, lots of games can go on during the dating process, and often he can get delayed in calling you or worst – he stops calling altogether.
Never fear, there are 5 key steps to follow when he has stopped calling. They include:
1) Give yourself 24 hours
Don’t call him. There’s no need to react immediately. Often this will only make you look desperate and clingy, and this will turn him off. Instead, give yourself 24 hours to sit with it and accept the fact that you’ll do something about this calmly when you have more information.
2) Talk to a friend
Still don’t call him. During this time you need perspective. Your mind will be going over time, and it will probably be over-exaggerating everything. Rather than living inside your head and getting more anxious, ring your best friend and get them to give you their thoughts. They can give you objectivity, support and a possible plan of attack.
3) Be optimistic
Absolutely don’t call. You’re still in your 24 hour holding pattern, and you need to think positively. Rather than thinking – “I’m not good enough, he’s not interested anymore!” Ask yourself “If this isn’t about me – why haven’t I heard from him?” There could’ve been a miscommunication between the two of you, he could’ve been caught up unexpectedly etc. Think of how you were when you last spoke, and remind yourself of the positives and be optimistic.
4) Text him
Now that you’ve waited 24 hours and he still hasn’t got back to you – follow this up with a text. It’s not desperate, you can plan what you want to say, and it’s short and to the point. It works as a nudge or a prompt, and once again the ball goes into his court to see how he responds. If there’s a good explanation for this, he’ll apologise and ring you. Make sure however he calls you – keep the responsibility on his shoulders.
5) Let go
If you don’t receive anything after the text then you have your answer – he’s not interested. For whatever reason it’s not going any further – and he can’t be bothered ringing or texting you back. Now you need to let go and you have a choice about how to do it – give him a piece of our mind or leave him alone. If you want to get things off your chest – by all means ring, email or even write a letter. Remember, it’s for you rather than trying to get him back. Otherwise leave him alone and put your focus into someone who’s worthy of your attention.
For more advice and free relationship tips go to www.johnaikenadvice.com